The rejection letter says: “Dear Applicant, we regret to inform you that your application to the stated establishment cannot be processed at this time due to the fact that it does not exist.
“After consultation with our mystic advisors we have also determined that even if it did exists, the course ‘Wandology’ would be highly in demand and hence require at least two As and a B in any of the following subjects:
Advanced Spellcrafting, Mystimatics, Defence Against the Dark Arts, History of the Occult and Shaft Design.”
It adds: “Your handwritten grade sheet claiming top marks in “Waving a stick about”, “wearing a pointy hat” and “watching Paul Daniels TV Specials” is sadly not suitable for submission.
The letter concluded that if the applicant wishes to resubmit an application he or she can tie a “letter to an owl and hope for the best”.
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